THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR HUMAN KITTEN
1. Run your fingers through their hair.
2. Pet from the top of their head, down the spine and then grab their ass. (They like that, promise!)
3. Present her with a collar that has bling on it when she is a good girl.
4. Offer sushi when she is feeling sad.
5. Collect all the pillows in the house and pile them all in a sunbeam on the floor for her to lay in and enjoy.
6. A bowl full of sweedish fish makes less grumpy catgirls.
7. Angry kittens have one default “reset” button…brush her hair, you just have to pin her down first to GET to it…
8. Call them princess, because they like to be reminded they are royalty.
9. Whenever you pass by them, stop and pet her before moving on.
10. Chocolate milk in the bowl, and if you want extra brownie points…add some godiva or chocolate mint liquor.
11. Let her drink or eat out of a pretty crystal bowl.
12. Massage often, outside and inside.
13. Get her a big bow in her favorite color to wear on her tail.
14. Attach bells on her collar.
15. Don’t play fetch, but DO fetch her.
16. Take ordinary things, like her bowl or toothbrush, and wrap it up with a bow and paper, just because kittens like to unwrap things.
17. Bring home a giant box, put in pillows, fill it with all her stuffies and her favorite mangas and leave her be in it. She will never forget how happy you made her. Kudos if you did it in a sunbeam.
18. Back scratches, always a win….
19. When you see her yawn, offer her your lap.
20. Get a roll of yarn. Then get a spray bottle and fill bottle with water and add a few drops of her favorite essential oil. Spray the yarn and then let air dry. Then give to kitten to play with…again, kudos if she is in a sunbeam. You can also stuff some of her favorite hard candies inside the yarn bundle.
21. A can of tuna offering will always increase your sex life.
22. Let her scratch ad bite you during sex, it’s her way of marking her territory. She likes you.
23. Give kitten a blanket cave to nest in.
24. Kiss her lots.
25. Take her to a busy place with a comfy place to sit, just so she can people watch.
26. Rile her up and wrestle with her and let her win sometimes.
27. Let her scratch and bite, believe it or not it’s how she is showing affection.
28. Paint her claws.
29. Try to have a full on conversation with her just mewing.
30. Cuddles…it all about those cuddles.